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June Time Warping

 when you work 40+ hours a week time melts away into nothing. it is meaningless. Wednesdays and Thursdays have been set aside as my weekends, and yet these days feel surreal. I am out of sync with the world. It's the middle of week five in Maine, and summer is taking its time on the coast. I've been hiking, I've done some minor travel. It's hard to do without company sometimes. 

Yesterday was one of my first bad days. I'm starting to really have the weight of post-grad slump onto me. I miss my college friends, and I miss living with seven people who could constantly provide me with companionship. I miss my cat.

I'm going to get a haircut today. I'm going to book a tattoo appointment with this cool queer artist in portland. I am needing to get out of the house and laugh.

My physical practice has been put on hold due to time constraints. But I am gathering a lot of external knowledge that will inform the art I make when I get to a point where I feel i can do it again. School crushed my drive to make. Some points during last semester felt like a punishment to make. I've been trying to make art for everyone for the last 4 years. Now it's time to make some art for me, and I don't know what that will look like.

Rain clouds today. I slept until 8 am, which I haven't done in 6 weeks. I am restless. 


Coworker is also a stern man on a lobster boat. He said that they saw their first whale of the season yesterday(exciting). Please summer come quickly! I yearn to play with the porpoises and seals and float in the warm harbor. I yearn to be coated in sunscreen and drink from colorful glasses and laugh with other people who i don't know yet.

I'll head out to Ellsworth later on and get some groceries. It will all be okay, rain just does this thing to me that causes a lot of reflection. 

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